True, faith promoting stories including life and death encounters. Proof of a parallel Spirit world
Grammas' Faith Journal
Dear Family and Friends,
My Mother, Grandmother, and Great-Grandmother left me a priceless talent.
It is a true story of profound faith, an answer to prayer from a loving and kind Father in Heaven that nourished my “seed garden” of personal belief. My, “mothers” could not lie about such things, that I knew . Through my moments of questioning and doubt I always knew their story was true. I sustained by that truth until I, too, had acquired my own personal experiences with truth
The Holy Scriptures direct us to multiply our talents, so from one seed the following garden has become prolific with ten talents and then some........
Drink From My Well
All Ye That Are Heavy Laden
The times are be perilous, fear and apprehension abound. Floods, famine, and drought are evident as never before. The soul withers for want of clean, pure water: “Water that flows from sane and truthful precepts, water that fills the soul with faith.” Come to my well, it is crystal clear and full to overflowing.
In these pages you will find profound evidence of an all loving, all giving, all patient Deity. He wants you to experience his ever-living concern and interest in you and every aspect of your earthly experience.
I will not attempt to lay the foundation of His Son-ship and pre-mortal assignment. The Holy Scriptures offer such understanding. In this writing I am desirous to share the many experiences I and others of my family/acquaintance have be blessed to know of first hand. Without exception, this record will offer only actual, non-fictional accounts which, I can assure you, my reader, are true and can be relied upon to reflect and impart the perfect love of our Perfect Father, His Son, and The Holy Ghost.
Drink deep of His living water and you need never thirst again.
Great-grandmother Okheuizens' Prayer
Original “Seed” or the “First Talent”
My Mother related this story to me. My Mother's Mother's Mother was very ill and lay dying. She was a woman of great faith. In prayer she asked the Father if she might be allowed five more years in mortality. Her prayer was answered with the appearance of writing on the wall near her bed. My Grandmother saw the writing but could not read it. My Great-grandmother could read the writing. It promised her five more years and she did recover from that illness. However, my great-grandmother spent a large portion of the five years in delusional illness. She would often run away and so on, my Mother said.
It is important that we be very careful of the things we ask in prayer. We must always include in them, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Or "According to Thy will, Dear Lord." Etc.
I'm not saying my Great-grandmother did not include this in her prayer for more time on this earth, she may very well have done. The mental illness she endured was to her blessing as well as the blessing of her children, in that, there is much to glean, patience, endurance,love un-fained etc. from caring for those willing to accept the call to serve the progression of others through endurance of incapacitation. Nevertheless, it is important to remember "Who" is "in charge" of life and death and be sure that we never forget to lean upon His benevolent/eternal perspective.
By way of testimony this true account has always been a faith booster for me. In that, I know my Grandmother would never lie about such an occurrence. It left no doubt in my mind as to the reality of God and His great love and mercy and His willingness to hear and answer prayers.
Two Years Left(?)“Talent number Two”
Sometime in '05, or late ‘04 I was visited in a dream by my Mother.
She simply asked me, "Are you about ready to come home?" I thought, then answered, "As soon as Jesus calls me I’ll be glad to come."
It was some months after this experience I had occasion to attend a very poignant funeral for a young Mother, a schoolmate of our children. She had been ill for quite some time and even though her passing was a blessing it was also a tremendous loss to all who knew and loved her special and sweet spirit.
As I was leaving the chapel I was reflecting on this lovely young mother and for just a moment, the spirit of envy flooded my heart. I was much surprised. I had never expected to find myself envying the "dead!" It has been somewhat unsettling as I asked myself, "Why?"
A few weeks later I experienced a "night vision" wherein I was in attendance at a council meeting, a "family” council meeting I was given to understand. The meeting was breaking up and someone asked me, "When, then?" Or perhaps it was, "How much time, then?" I heard, as well as felt, myself answer, "Two years." And that was the extent of the information I was given.
The profoundly unexplainable part of this experience for me was hearing, seeing, and feeling myself reply with such simple clarity and in a voice that I have never in all my life experience imagined possible. It was a voice of pure, totally uncorrupted confidence, confidence beyond any hint of hesitation or any increment of varying! I wondered, “ Who am I?’ And ultimately, I pondered “Who are we, all of us!”
After considerable pondering of the above, I surmised, “Why would I be receiving information concerning a two-year time frame? It, I feel sure would have to be something of some considerable consequence for my having received such an awareness in such a strange and unique manner. The first and most likely answer, I believe, is that my mortal stay may be coming to a close. I certainly wouldn't be answering to "how long?" concerning someone else's mortality, would I? Is there some other event I need to get ready for? I am sure that is a plausible consideration. I just can't think of any that seem more likely. At any rate, it can only be beneficial to consider that any day could be your last and being prepared for that eventuality, without obsessing, can only be a “good thing.” Ya think?
Some are taken early, the scripture teaches that they need not experience the calamities to come, or, words to that effect. (No, I don't remember where that is found, I just know that originally, I found it in the Old Testament. and then, more recently words to the same effect in the Book of Mormon.)
As I have observed myself to be something of a "boob," it would not surprise me to find that I have made arrangements to stay in mortality only as long as necessary. I might have had hopes to "get out" while the getting is good, so to speak. Yet, I would not be happy to leave knowing my family could be better served if I remained. I would strive to endure whatever, if they needed me.
Note: See, what happens when you decide those little babies are so cute, you just have to have one… or two.. or .. four! And we're not even discussing what those rascal/angels called "grandchildren" do to you!
I have some inclination that the two years may not be exclusive to me . . . I continue to strive for progress in faith. Faith bares no tolerance for fear. I am determined, to the best of my ability, to give it, fear that is, no place in my anticipations, as well.
p.s. I suppose I might have been answering to "When are you two actually going on your mission?" That would be a good thing!
Near Death Experience
“Talent number Three”
Shortly after having been delivered of a beautiful baby girl, I found my self lying in the delivery recovery room. Without any forewarning or specific triggering I began to feel a cold come into my body from my feet. I instinctively knew I was beginning to die. The life force was ebbing out from my head, I assumed, as the cold continued to move up my legs. I managed to say to the attending nurse that I was feeling cold, but, that effort made the "cold" move faster and the ebbing increase. I was afraid to say anything else for fear of hastening the eventuality of my death. I remember saying to (I thought) myself, "I'm not going to die! I'm not! I must stay to raise my children. I'm not going to die!" That, I thought, is what I needed to do. I needed to ponder on my responsibilities to gain sufficient motivation to somehow stop this "dying process." I could not have been more wrong! Immediately as I began to ponder my children the process increased in it's depletion of my life force! I didn't know how much I had of this life force that could be lost and I still remain able to try and fight it's slipping away. "What?" I panicked, "What could I think of to give me strength?" Maybe my husband, yes, maybe Helmut! Wrong again! And again the flowing increased. Then, I thought, I'll think of nothing! At least that won't increase the ebbing - Then the thought came into my mind, "You must allow yourself to fall asleep if you are to survive this." Fall asleep!? I might not wake up! Yet, somehow I knew the directive was right. And I just kept repeating as I let myself dose, "I'm not going to die! I'm not going to die!"
The next thing I became conscious of was a huge black void and I was in the middle of it. I looked around. In looking forward, so I thought, I saw the Earth as if I was looking at it in space thousands of miles above it. It was beautiful but only about as large as the moon appears to be at night. Then it began to grow littler! How odd, I thought. Then I realized I must be moving away from it, and with that understanding I watched it diminish in size. In only a few seconds it was a tiny speck, and then nothing. And with that nothing I lost all concern about events etc connected with it. It was just so far away and God had it in hand, it wasn't my worry any longer. With this realization I experienced a great peace and calm. I was free and very happy. Happy to be able to stay out there. Why? I wondered, had I been so adamant about not dying? This would be OK, even preferable! Then the message I received to my mind read, "You have already made your choice, you wanted to stay." And I thought, "Oh, yes that was my choice." And everything was black again, and I slept. My next awareness, I have no idea as to the time frame, was that I was being tossed as a ball. A ball that had been thrown up into the air and was soon to reach it's apex and begin to fall. I knew that that "fall" would not be a desirable event. It would be a fall of major significance, even beyond a physical fatality. Therefore, as I realized I was near the top of the arc, or end of the upward traveling, I began to search in my sight and mind for something, anything to grasp in this vast empty darkness. Some thing I could hold on to! Something, that would stop my inevitable decent. The motion was at a seconds' stand still and I saw a sheet of paneling before me. (I know that is ridiculous, but that is what I saw!) It appeared to be the standard four by eight foot wood panel like one might purchase to use in wall decor. It was not, I knew, particularly strong. It did have one distinction I noticed. There was a nail, maybe six inches long partially driven into it that might be within my reach. I didn't have any time to reason the absurdity of that nail in that panel board being able to hold my weight. There was nothing else, nothing! The nail would save me or it wouldn't. I reached out! I felt my hand, one hand, around it, I held as tightly as I could manage. I fully expected it to give away. But it not only held, but held me! I was astounded! My life was being saved by the strength of a single nail barely embedded into a flimsy sheet of paneling! The ebbing stopped!
But there was more the Heavens would have me understand. I continued to ponder this odd vision, until, at some point, I thought, ""Oh, I'm OK, now. I've stopped dying and I can think of my new baby and family again. WRONG! Wrong! Wrong! As soon as my thoughts drifted from the nail the "ebbing" returned, with vengeance! I immediately re-shifted my thoughts to the "nail" and hanging on with all my strength. And again the ebbing stopped. Strength and warmth again began to enter my body.
It was about this time that I became aware that I was still in the recovery room and though my eyes were closed I could hear the nurse going about her duties. I realized that with each noise, distraction, the ebbing would return. I pleaded in my mind for quiet! Now, I understood why hospitals are sometimes fanatical about "Quiet! Please" I knew the nurse was about to walk across the room, I don't know how I knew this. I tried to brace myself for the noise and the return of the dying. But, it didn't happen this time. I could think of the nurse and not lose ground! Great, I thought, I now had two avenues of thought that pulled me in to life. The "nail" and the "nurse." I wondered at this point if it was going to be alright now to ponder my life and circumstances. As I made the effort, it was immediately apparent, that it was not OK.
With the nail and the nurse seeping strength into my body, I was able to observe, without any deliberate thought, the activities going on around me. The nurse checked my blood pressure quiet often and I now had several blankets covering me. At one point, as she noticed I was awake, she commented, "Well, you gave us a scare there, for a while. But you are doing better now." Little did she know!
They were talking about taking me to my room and that I had been in recovery for six hours. I wanted to say, "Don't, I'm not strong enough yet! The noise and movement could bring it all on again." But I didn't dare say anything, except a faint, "Thank you" to the nurse as I was being wheeled out. I worried as to how I would do in my own room, alone. I was sufficiently distracted from my deliberate concentrations as I was being transferred to notice that the distractions did not trigger the ebbing. And I felt to chance a thought or two other than the nail and the nurse. I was doing better. And I seemed to get better and better in that, as I reached my room I could, it seemed, think any appropriate thought again with out loosing any ground. I was, finally, home.
I have had years to ponder this event and the many things it taught me. The first thing I came across was several years later while I was reading the Old Testament. I found a scripture that said something like, "We were saved by the strength of a nail." Immediately I knew that was the lesson of the "Nail." Christ was held by the strength of the nails in His hands and feet. Because they "held" all mankind was saved from the "falling." Also, that for the "saving" to be in effect we must focus on Him, always and in all things. He is the only provider of safety and sound footing.
Why the "nurse?" I wondered,. But then it came to me. She represents service. Her service to me. I was allowed to draw from her strength because she was dedicated in her desire to heal others. First, know, then do. In the years to come my husband, an early para-medic, would sometimes come home thoroughly exhausted from his shift at the fire station. And I knew why. His work was such service. Those he served drew from his strength and dedication just as I had done with the recovery nurse. It is always so, I believe. We wear out our lives one way or another. Service to our Brothers and Sisters is sure ground, the solid foundation, the Christ-like life.
Ryan at 7~1/2
“Talent number Four”
Sometimes a mother is instinctively concerned if she has a child who exhibits very few and sometimes no expressions of human foibles. It is as if she understands the purpose for being here is to learn to over-come weaknesses and grow strong in the progression of the immortal soul to become more like God. If experience has shown such a mother that children, as a group exhibit very early tendencies that could be listed under, "Needs to Improve," she might naturally have concerns for a child who possesses no behaviors that could be listed under such a heading.
Our first born son was for all intense and purposes, without such tendencies. Upon the arrival of our later children this fact became more and more evident, to the extent that I found myself, occasionally, concerned over the possibility that the usual "testing" of individuals was, perhaps, not necessary for this first son. He was never jealous. He was never mean. He was never deliberately disobedient. He did not tease or harass his brother or sister. He did not demand attention, but waited calmly for his turn. I feared he was too good.
Sometime before his 8th birthday I received a definite and direct communication to my mind that he would be taken home to heaven soon. I was devastated. I understood the communication to be a preparatory measure given simply to help me accept the coming separation. I refused the inevitability and immediately went to my bedroom and to my knees. I prayed with greater intent than I had ever done before, or knew I could do. I expressed in prayer that I was willing to stay on my knees for as long as it took, until I received some assurance that my prayer was not in vain and that he would be allowed to stay in mortality. Contrary to my expectation, it was not very long at all before I received a comforting assurance that everything was alright and he would be OK. I remember thinking, "That was surprisingly easy." And I remember being so very grateful that my prayer was answered. This, however, was not the end.
About two weeks later I had a dream (I feel impressed to call it a night vision) about this experience, in that, I was told that my petition had been granted (I had, of course, already assumed such and was surprised at this time to be informed that the "granting" was only just then “official”) I was also instructed that it would be my responsibility to "protect and fight" for this child against the world, for his sensitivity to the worlds' inequalities and iniquities was great and could cause him much emotional and mental anguish. I remember responding in the affirmative that I would do that to the best of my ability. I often wonder if I have done well enough.
“The Fight”
At the time of the above instruction I was clueless as to the kind, quantity, or quality of protecting or "fighting" of which I would be called upon to render. The “goal” being to keep him happy enough to be able to remain in mortality. He hurt for everyone that hurt! He could not tolerate the idea that some had and some had-not. ie. survival of the fittest, richest, toughest, the supremacy of “the natural man” etc.*
It was my duty and challenge to try to help him appreciate the beauty and joy available to him in-spite of all the pain people sometimes are called upon to endure. One of the greatest challenges was to try to help him realize that it was not his duty to make everything right for every-one, while also realizing that you can make some thing or things right sometimes for others.
For, truly it is only through our faith in an all wise and loving God/Father who can and does ultimately, make sense of all the non-sense out there, that we are afforded the ultimate “talent” or “gift” of knowing true and lasting peace/joy in this, our life's journey.
As this special Son has become a mental health professional, I am comforted to believe he understands that though some may reason, "If you can't control feeling too much for others suffering, you can only survive by allowing yourself to feel little of your true compassion." The truth, of course is, "people don't care what others may know, until they know they actually care." Such work necessitates a truly fine balance of empathy, observational perspective, and compassionate guidance.
I suppose, all things considered, we should be grateful not only that he was allowed to stay in this mortal university of errors, but, that the staying has not been the un-doing of his health or happiness. Like most of us, he has compensated amazingly.
Would I change my prayer concerning my young Son's call to return to God? No, and yes. In that I would add, as the Savior so well taught, "even so, Father, not my will but Thine be done." Simply added, now, in retrospect, but not simply understood or learned. I am so grateful to have had this child/man's sweet spirit with us through our mortal journey, yet, my heart aches for any un-necessary suffering he may have endured because of my lack of faith or inability to fulfill my commitment to protect and/or fight for him. In the holy name of Jesus Christ – Amen
Note: The next shared “talent.” presented is deliberately positioned following the story you just read as the lessons learned here,in this account, were specifically remembered and implemented in the following “walk through the valley.”
“The fifth “Talent”
Early on the morning of the 21st of August I mentioned to my husband, Al that I had had a dream that night that my hair was falling out. I explained to him that my Mother had told me a dream of loosing one’s hair meant that someone in your family was going to die. I had never had such a dream before, but I was not terribly upset or bothered by the dream..
The next morning just before wakening I experienced a dream that was considerably more un-nerving - in that I saw my grandchildren playing and one was not there. Just as I became aware of the absent child I was given to know that one had died. In a matter of seconds I was given to see my youngest Daughter-in-law sitting on or near a white bed. Her face was beautifully serene. Then as I remembered what I had just been told I watched as her quiet serenity turned into heart-breaking sorrow. My heart was wrenched and I pulled my consciousness away and opened my eyes to the day.
I immediately told my Husband and announced my intention to call all the Kids and make them aware of this warning dream. ( I didn’t think that seeing whom I had seen, specifically, meant one of her children was gone, for I knew she would mourn over our losing any one of the cousins just as readily as her own.) Al made we wait a while to make my calls as it was about 5:30am or so. When I called I explained the dream and that I thought it was a warning and advised them to be extra careful in their activities.
I had experienced warning dreams before and the Children were used to my sharing premonitions or any concerns I had about there safety. Often enough these warnings had proven themselves to be reliable. They listened to my concerns with respect. The week progressed as we planned and prepared for a family outing at our favorite lake to celebrate our Daughters’ birthday on Saturday. Thursday I heard from Scott, our second son who has three children. Kaylei, his youngest, about two years old, had choked, seriously choked on a quarter and given him and his wife quite a scare. He had considerable difficulty helping his little daughter expel the quarter and had finally resorted to holding her by her ankles and hitting her back to force the quarter out. Well, I thought, that was it then. And all is well again . . .
But all was not well. Oddly enough, it was a choking accident while camping that was the means of our two-and-one half-year old Grandson returning to His Father in Heaven the next day. This time no one demanded God allow him to stay with us, we loved him so very much, but “Thy will be done.” was included in every pleading. It was the beautiful daughter-in-law I had envisioned who, along with her husband, our son, would morn for their own child. Unlike my own many years earlier, their faith and fortitude was un-wavering.
“Talent Number Six”
Some few months after the passing of our Grandson, Caydin, our 2yr. Old Granddaughter, Kaylei was sitting with her Mother when she unexpectedly announced that Caydin was there and wanted to share her cookies with her. She immediately placed a cookie out for him to receive and was very happy to do so. Soon she said he wanted another, where-in she presented another cookie for “Caydin.”
But then she said something quite startling, “Look, Mommy” as she gazed toward the ceiling, “It's a baby! Cute Baby, Mommy! It's a flying baby!' Her Mother was obviously quite surprised at such an announcement from her infant daughter to say the least. Then Kaylei continued, “Baby coming down Mommy! Hold baby.” Kaylei stretched forth her arms up-wards and slowly brought them down again as if to present the “baby” to her Mother. She said, “Hold baby, Mommy! Careful!” As her Mother did not seem to take the situation seriously enough, Kaylei then said, “Mommy! Hold Baby! Careful! Baby Fall!” And her Mother proceeded to put forth her arms to hold the un-seen infant. It a few minutes Kaylei said, “Baby Flying again! Baby going away! Bye Baby! So cute Baby, Momma!”
It was obvious to Kaylie's Momma that Robert and Diana were expecting. When that weekend, she informed them of Caydins' visit and introduction of his little Brother to Kaylie and herself, they denied the obvious. They had hoped to keep the expected blessing to themselves for a while longer. But, it was certain that their first born, Caydin, had no such hesitation. And a few days later, they shared the good news, yes, there was a new baby coming!
It was about a year after the birth of this cute “flying” baby, Isaac, that Kaylei had another “vision” she shared with her Mother. Just after arising from a nap she sat at their kitchen table and said, “It's Aunt Diana, she has a new baby! Isaac is in a Winnie Pooh stroller and Aunt Diana holding a new baby!” Yep, this time they, Rob & Diana, knew “secret babies” just wasn't happening, their little Emily is due in a few weeks. It was OK for them to keep the news a secret, but, their Caydin would have none of it!
The Pure Love of Christ
“Talent Number seven”
The children were still very young. Al (their Daddy) was at the fire station. I knelt down to begin my nightly . prayers when I received the distinct impression that my sins were forgiven! I was doubtful that such a thing could be in that I was still over weight and needless to say had many "faults" yet to subdue. Then the Spirit responded with, "God cannot lie." And I knew He/God could not lie and that the Spirit had spoken to my heart and that I would be foolish and it would be a considerable offense to God to continue to doubt His word. So, I guess you could say I just marveled for a time.
Sometime in the night I began a dream where I was surrounded by many people in a very large room. The word was going about quickly and with much anxiety that He - or " They" were coming. Many people looked for an exit and began to leave as quickly as they possibly could, but it was too late, "They" were there! Three personages I could make out as my face hit the floor and I waited, due to my wicked condition, to be consumed by their power and glory. I waited. As did every soul there, I know.
Much to my utter amazement, I was not destroyed! I was not even chastised! But rather, slowly I began to be filled with the gentlest, kindest, awareness that I was loved and accepted. Just as I was. I was in wonder and awe! These beings were perfect and they loved me! I asked in my heart, "Is it God? The answer was, "When they come it my name it is the same." And I knew it was true. It mattered not if it was "Him" for, if not, they were sent by "Him" and it was the same as if He were the specific one imparting this great love and acceptance to my heart. I basked in it! It filled my every cell! It over-flowed my being. I was not able to receive in my mortal body all of it's incredible peace and comfort! I had to draw my concentration away, as my comprehension was on over-load! And, only then did this perfect love and peace slowly begin to abate. Immediately I feared my retreat might prohibit any continuation of experiencing this marvelous fountain of joy! Quickly I re-focused my direct attention upon "it" and began again to absorb this miraculous, all encompassing love. For that was what it was, the pure love of Christ. It was not long when I again I reached my capacity to endure such wonder and fullness. I disengaged my concentration for the second time. Never did the power leave me, it was I that was forced to retreat, in order to "regroup" - and yet again (and I know not how many times through the night into the rising of the sun) this heavenly bestowed gift was revisited. Finally, I opened my eyes, not from sleep, as I had not been asleep for quite some time and the night was gone. I expect this great out-pouring of love and acceptance had occupied most of the entire night.
I have since wished that I had had the presence of mind to open my eyes and look up. I did not do so as I was so over-come with what was being presented me. I had room for no other awareness. I have since read the report of one of the Latter-day Apostles having a similar experience, at least initially. He, however, did open his eyes and look up to behold the Savior and went to Him and kissed His feet and felt His embrace. No I don't feel any the less blessed. To all it is given,i.e. that which is needful. With mercy in everything
Losing Dad and God's Mercy
“Talent number eight”
It never ceases to amaze me the magnitude and exquisite minuteness of God's mercy. In the very smallest detail that will only be meaningful to one - to the greatest enlightenment given to mankind as a whole, the mercy, the charity is for ever and eternally evident.
I felt the need, the inspiration "as it were" to write a note of "Thank You" - and first and foremost I thought of my Mother. Forever deserving of such a gesture. But soon my thoughts were led to my Father. Never in the lime light, and never possessing the desire to be so, he just did what he thought was expected of him as best he knew how. Particularly after he quit drinking, he was just quietly happy and pleasant to be around. Because of this, I was able to overcome much of the resentment and even anger I had felt for not having such a Father as I grew up. No solid financial or emotional security leaves one with many boogie-men to confront. But I had come to know my Dad from a different perspective after he was sober and realized for the first time that he really did love me and was even proud of me to the extent he could allow himself to be so.
He deserved my gratitude particularly because I had never expressed it to him before - ever to my knowledge. I picked out a little card and wrote a short "Thank you Dad, " note. A few weeks following I asked my Mother if Dad had received my card. She assured me he had. That was all she had to say about it. (Maybe she felt saddened I hadn't sent her one?) At any rate nothing more was ever mentioned. Through the months to follow I made a conscious effort to give my Dad a hug and peck on the cheek before leaving his presence, something I didn't know if he could/would appreciate as all signs of emotion were very difficult for him and had in years earlier made him angry. He said nothing and so I continued to express my awkward affection thusly. This went on for the better part of a year.
One Friday Mother called me and asked me to pick Dad up from town and give him a ride home. I had three little children, a husband coming home for dinner, as I recall, and the total trip would constitute about thirty-plus minutes both ways. I sincerely did not want to go. She continued to plead, which she rarely did about anything and I eventually "gave in." On the way to their house from town Dad complained of a pain in his arm, which was giving him considerable discomfort. I couldn't think of any thing I thought might help him feel better, and I did not know at the time that he had started taking sub-lingual nitro-glycerin pills to strengthen his heart for an up-coming operation to repair a congenital defect.
On his way home from work the next Monday he collapsed in a drug store hitting his head on a counter and never regained consciousness.
How grateful am I for a Father in Heaven that tweaked my conscience to send my Dad a "Thank you" the first and only time, and allows me to be of service to him beyond my own desire and comprehension of how very much that service would mean to me, in just a matter of a few days . .. .. very very grateful I can assure you. His mercy is in the details, each and every one, and fills the universe in that in no thing is He motivated by anything less than perfect love. He knows us far better than we know ourselves and we need only learn to rely on that knowledge and love to enjoy peace and happiness every day of our lives.
“Talent Number Nine”
In another dream, "night vision," I think, is a more accurate description, I found myself on the top of a very high mountain. The highest mountain I had ever seen! I was very elated and puzzled. The view was wonderful all that you would expect; expanses of vast valleys stretched out before me. Yet, I knew I had not climbed that mountain. I knew I could not have climbed that mountain. It was far beyond my physical capability and I knew the climb was treacherous in many places and would be a great challenge to the most talented and experienced climber. Yet, there I was, at the top! But how? The Spirit spoke to my mind; "You didn't climb it alone." And my understanding took off. Of course! All things are possible with God. He had supported me. Often, I supposed, carried me, sure, with Him I "climbed" this grand, imposing, peak! Isn't that something, I mused.
After taking a moment to digest this insight I began to survey further and in turning around, much to my astonishment I found yet another monstrous mountain directly behind me! It couldn't be! Yet, there it was. I was completely taken back to realize that there could be another mountain bigger than the one on which I stood. Then the voice came again, "Now, climb that one." You've heard the quip, "How quickly they forget." Well, my immediate response was, "I could never climb such a mountain!" The Spirit waited patiently. How many seconds did it take for me to "get it?" After all I couldn't have climbed the first mountain either, save, He helped and carried me. I remember thinking, "Oh. . . if You got me here . . . sure, You could get me there, as well!" And, I was literally filled with awe! Then my view was opened wider still . . . My eyes beheld yet a third mountain, bigger than the other two combined! And I knew, finally, the lesson. . . .
We don't climb any of them alone! Only in and through His divine guidance and support are any of our mountains conquered! I opened my eyes, for I was not sleeping now, and I felt a deep gratitude and hope from the assurance this "vision" afforded me. One of our dearest Prophets stated,
"The most important word is - Remember!"
Remember what?, you ask, “ From whence cometh our strength!”
Five year old Fear of Mothers' Death
“Talent number eleven” (extra credit)
I was about five years old when I came to the understanding that my Mother could die, could go back to heaven and leave me. I don't remember the circumstances of my “knowing.” I only remember realizing that my Mother was my life! I could not bare the thought of living without her. Everyday I would cry myself to sleep at nap time thinking of what life would be without her. I continued in this behavior for some time. I remember feeling I could not survive this knowledge: the vonerability of my Mothers existence.
At some point I received a personal communication from the Spirit to my mind, which said, "If you don't stop crying, feeling so badly, you will just have to come home!" I knew "home" meant I would die. It was as if I was being scolded ever so gently. That my behavior was not acceptable and I could and should control it. Until I received this communication I didn't have the understanding that I could control this suffering. As I complied with this prompting I found peace and joy once again.
I learned that this life must be taken as it comes. As I was given no assurance that my Mother would be allowed to remain in life because of my great fear of losing her, I understood that I had to work, what I now know is faith, to accept all/any eventualities that life might bring to me. Good and bad, all were necessary and completely in Gods' hands
“Talent Number 12”
We enter this earth life bursting with pure faith. For Jesus said, "Suffer the little children . …. for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven." Memory of pre-mortal life isn't instantly squelched, but diminishes with time. I remember my prayers as a little child. I remember my family saying the "Lords' Prayer" together when I was a very small child and my memorizing it as a result. Then, for whatever reason they discontinued the practice. I was sorely disappointed at this development and remember vowing to always say my own prayers no matter what. And my prayer would begin, "Father in Heaven, if I grow up and at anytime forget to say my prayers, please, let this prayer be my prayer for now and then." I was, perhaps, five years old.
In those very early prayers I can remember envisioning the immensity of the heavens with the countless stars and the never ending space and I tried to imagine God's power and His ability to put it all together, and his love for me, and I expressed my love for Him forever. And, I slept comforted regardless of any chaos or discourse in my life that day.
About this time I also remember my favorite “day-dream.” That I was not solely the daughter of my parents with whom I shared my current life, but, was in fact the daughter of a King. A king who in His great wisdom and love had sent me to live with this kindly couple that I might learn to be loving, caring, and tolerant of others. That at some day, after I had learned all I needed to know to be a benevolent (no, I didn't know that word then, but that was the essence of the thought) leader-ruler, He would return for me and greatly bless and thank my current "Mom & Dad." Then He would take me back home with Him, to His castle. I did not, unfortunately, also envision the possibility that I was not an only "royal" child and that all the Kings children might be engaging in a similar experience right along with me.
I was allowed at about this same age to wander a bit outside on my own. I watched the ants, working their ordered duties in an ant colony a few feet outside my yard boundaries in a vacant lot. I was fascinated and wondered how they would fare if they were to encounter another creature much bigger than they were. Curiosity raised its sometimes-ugly head and I searched for a large caterpillar to organize a battle. That being accomplished I placed the caterpillar and a half dozen red ants into a jar and watched expectantly to see just what would happen. Within seconds the ants attacked the docile caterpillar and began administering their venomous stings. I watched with increasing alarm as the caterpillar began to squirm and wither in its attempts to get free of the vicious attackers. For a few moments I was frozen with horror of what I was observing. But soon realized I had caused this excruciating experience on one of the Gods' humblest and most wondrous creatures. I was quick to try and remedy the situation by emptying the jar on the sidewalk and using a stick to pry off the stinging army of ants. But, the damage was done. The caterpillar barely moved. I could not restore its health or vigor. I carried it to a cool leafy place away from the ant colony and laid it down, I was sure, to die.
The Spirit wasted no time in confirming to me the enormity of offense I had caused by my actions. The King does not waste time. If He creates something it is of inestimable value. No life is without that value. The caterpillar did not die in vain, however. As the tears pored down my cheeks I knew I never again wanted to harm any of God's creatures knowingly or without due cause. Curiosity is not a valid motive for such. Again, I did not have the language skills at the time to verbalize this event as I have here. Nevertheless, I knew three things, first, that others might not understand that this learning experience was important, because the Spirit had communicated that to me, and secondly, I was ashamed of my thoughtless cruelty. And lastly that I had felt for the first time the unmistakable promptings of the Holy Spirit and there after I knew I was never really alone.
“ "Recession”
“Faith talent 13”
It was during the mid “Seventies.” They called it a recession. No jobs, high interest rates, soaring inflation. It hit us hard. My Husband's department was shut down and we were jobless like countless others. He was given a modest lay-off stipend and was eligible for un-employment compensation. We could barely cover the daily cost of living and a few bills, that was it. We did however, decide that seeing as we were letting so many bills go, it didn't matter much if we let one or two more go and we would pay our tithing. Little did we know how significant that decision would be.
The first thing I noticed about our situation is that paying the tithing first meant we were never without food for our small family and we were never burdened with extreme concern over our situation, even when it went on for months on end. We were happy and sustained by our faith. If, for whatever reason we postponed paying the tithing that would change. The magnitude of our situation would begin to flood our lives with anxiety and concern. Then we would take the tithing to the Bishop and all would be well again. This was a sequence of events that never varied throughout the entire year we were without work.
Our family and the Church helped us with some commodities and as we began to miss our mortgage payments helped us some there fore-stalling the inevitable dreaded “foreclosure” notification. But eventually it did arrive. With it, however, we also received a notification that a new program was being offered by FHA where-in one might redeem their mortgage default by making an extra half payment every month until the deficit was paid. “We couldn't make the single payment, how did they think we could make one and a half?” I remember distinctly thinking! “Oh, Ye of little faith!” Al had just barely be able to find work, and not “sufficient” work, but something. How would we pay the extra mortgage payments? Al just decided that we would pay the tithing first, then the mortgage, then trust in the Lord! It was about this time that I was admitted to the hospital for appendicitis and Al began to experience “chest pains.” And the foreclosure was to begin on Monday if we could not begin our re-payment plan. We called the Bishop, he could not, he explained make the payment for us. But, that was not what we needed. We needed only a few days for Al's first check to arrive and we would manage the payment ourselves. The Bishop called our mortgage company and arranged the extension we needed. We began what was to be a six month re-payment schedule. Again, as we paid the tithing first we found everything else worked out, somehow. The Lord was faithful to His promise to support those who honor Him and strive to obey His Word. In June we made the final “make-up” payment where-in Al was informed that of all the hundreds of people who were offered this opportunity to save their homes, we were the only ones who had been able to successfully do so. That tells me that this entire program from FHA in our area was instituted just for us! It was inspired and implemented in-order that when we needed it, it would be in place . . . How's that for the blessing of paying one's tithing?
Did we continue as our financial situation improved to be faithful tithe payers? Nope, I am sorry to say, it was years before we would be strong enough to trust the Lord in “good times” as we were compelled to trust Him in the “bad times.” What a shame. What blessings might we have obtained and even shared, if we had remained faithful to this principle always.
Well, life is for learning and the important thing is that we did not forget, even in our lapses, that the principle was true and have finally, for many years, now, been able to receive the peace and support that are always inherent blessings to those who accept their tithing obligation to the Lord, not to mention in-numerable individual blessings we have received according to our needs and righteous desires. God is faithful, it is our challenge to be even as He is.
In Jesus Christs' Name, Amen
A Good Samaritan
Faith story 14
It was late summer and we were driving on the freeway when my husband, Al noticed an abandoned car parked in the emergency pull-off area. He said we needed to exit and drive to the road under-passing the interstate in the close vicinity of the empty car. I was considerably surprised. Do to his concern for the safety of his family, he never took the opportunity to try to help a stranded motorist, other than to get to a phone and inform the Highway Patrol dispatch that someone likely needed help. It was only the two of us, that early evening; even so. I could not help but question his decision. He simply answered, “I don't know 'why' this time. We just need to see if someone needs our help.”
A few minutes later, it was completely dark now, we were driving on the street directly under the freeway where the car had been parked above. Immediately noticed a woman trying to climb up and over a very high freeway fence, perhaps 15 ft. high! We could not imagine that she could safely accomplish this effort on her own. Also we noticed she was very much pregnant! I suggested we pull the front of the car over the curb, right up next to the fence. Which he did and I got out. As I climbed onto the hood of our car I assured the frightened woman we only wanted to help her get down safely. She had just managed to swing her legs over the top and was having trouble finding a footing in the small fence squares. As I reached up to stabilize her she dropped down in front of me and we were both standing then on the front hood of the car. But she was OK. I hate to think what might have happened if we had been even one minute later.
She had run out of gas. (It was a time before cell phones.) She was expecting her seventh baby in a few weeks. I might have felt to chide her some, but soon realized that she didn't get gas before because she didn't have any money. We drove her to the gas station and as my husband filled a gas can to take back to her car she confided many compelling and sad details of her life at that time. ( I informed her of the Woman's shelter that was available for women and their children who were in jeopardy.) We took her back to her car and were able to get her on her way again. I gave her my phone number and invited her to call me any time. I never heard from her again.
How important is it to listen to the promptings of the Spirit! And, to honor “others” promptings as well as our own?
Faith Talent # 15
I suppose that if you are still with me, I can be reasonably sure you, Dear Reader, are not "swine" therefore I share the following ;
I closed my eyes again after partaking of the “bread of life” and began again to imagine how it might have been. In the Garden. Where all the burden of sin was received and carried away. Time has no hold on the Son of God, one hour could have been as a thousand years, what-ever was needful.
I saw myself waiting in the endless procession for my turn to present the weight of my transgressions upon His head and shoulders and heart. I watched as each sorrowful petitioner came before His face as He lay across the rock and blood flowed from every pore , momentarily increasing with each additional load, oozing life from Him to the sustaining of the supplicant, the sinner before Him.
Finally, my turn came. I was so ashamed! My burden would now add to the already incomprehensible load! How could He bare even one more...? would mine be the limit? Did He have enough left for me? I looked in to His beautiful will-fully composed face. Such love! Such patience! Such endurance! Such agony! And, with His almost imperceptible nod I handed my load to the waiting angel who slowly laid it upon the Master. This time it was for me the watered/blood gushed once again. In an instant I knew, the strength of His love and power held, and my eyes flowed out fountains of gratitude! Once again His magnificent Love took all the ugly sin from an entire life, MY life, absorbed it , cleansed it, and finally dissolved every wit. I saw again the anguish in His loving face, the determination and energy of will, it was done, my share was absolved! How could He continue to carry so much? Hundreds, thousands, millions still waiting after me!
Then I felt the arrival and opened my eyes, before me was the sacramental water. It took my breath away! I viewed it as I had never seen it before! I saw in my minds eye the distinct tinge of red. I partook with shaking hand and flowing tears. It was real! The atonement was for me! It happened and we are all, each and every one of us, saved by His
all enduring Power, Grace, and Love!
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
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